p.s. Don't forget tonight is the deadline for sending spooky pictures for the blog's Halloween decorations or whatever you want to call it day. Do send one if you feel like it and haven't yet. Thanks. Well, I'd hoped and planned to be able spend more time with you today, but life has consipred against me, and I won't be able to do my usual interraction until tomorrow, for which I apologize. Just briefly, for those who are newish here, my mother is dying of cancer and, on top of that, she broke her hip five weeks ago, which is causing her health to decline more rapidly. I'm in LA in large part to spend time with her, and things are rather rough due to the bad and ominous state she's in and the fact that my siblings are having related terrible, heated fights with due to jealousy of each others' relationships to her and consequent squabbles about her estate and their inheritances and all this crap that people always say accompanies these kinds of situations, but which I honestly didn't expect would happen. As the relatively calm and pragmatic member of the family, I'm being forcibly dragged into the middle of these fights, and, between that and dealing with my mom's situation, today is destined to be an intense, messy one that is already well in motion. So I have to go cope with all of that, although I plan to be free of much of the chaos by tomorrow one way or another. And tonight I get to take a break and hit Knotts Scary Farm (see: yesterday) with my great nephew and some friends, and that should help. So I'll catch up your ideas and comments and of yesterday and today when I'm back in the morning. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy my tribute to the illustrious Klark, and that you're all doing really well. See you in 24 or less.
posted by Dennis Cooper at 12:32 PM
47 Comments:
Sadly this is what happnes all the time, Dennis. You wouldn't have believed the scene when my Mom died in 1987. My Aunt, the last surving member of her family, attacked me like I have never been attackd before. Naturally I cut off all relatios with her. She's probably dead now. If so I was never notified, and I really couldn't care less.
Good that you're keeping your distance -- and sanity -- while the others needlessly immolate themselevs.
Klark, yeah. i've seen his ubiquity for sure, but he's never done it for me. nice body, but as you intimated Dennis, his features are incredibly nondescript. i look at his face and i just see nuthin. other people are into that, not so much me. so it goes...
Dennis, these histories that you write are just fantastic. other folks have mentioned that your 'crossover'/'big hit' book could be something about an extremely relatable situation such as Yury's visa or your relationship with your mom, but me, i would love to see a [semi-]serious Dennis Cooper non-fiction book. there's a quality you have when you're, how to put it, 'bringing people up to date' on aspects of your world in a more no-nonsense fashion, as opposed to evoking it through pretty language. I Heart This Quality. anyway, thank you for these days on the blog.
of course of course, be well and strong with everything happening w/your mom. totally shitty, but things of similar emotional magnitude happen to almost all people [right?], and needless to say, we're all Here 4 You.
much love, math+
*Dennis i mean you know, not that your non-fiction language isn't pretty, obviously- All Ears is one of my favorites- but i'm talking about these fantastic briefings you give, in contrast to, say, evocations. i want one as long as a book. xox.
D-
I can relate completely. My family has finally come to terms with the fact that my brothers a heroin addict. They are too busy fighting with each other over who's to blame to be able to help him, so I stepped in and found a decent rehab close to me. Families are shit sometimes.
Love the post today! My friend who painted the portrait of me also did a painting of Klark awhile back: http://mattlifson.com/Paintings/6.jpg
I'd love to give you a ring while you're in the states so we can catch up on things. I'll forward you my number as I've lost your LA one.
All my best to you and your mother.
-B
My all-time fave gay porn star is Danny Sommers.
Dennis, you always do really way good brother, just hang-loose and enjoy yourself.
Clark is a little too masculine for my tastes, but good to have a another porn day.
What you were saying yesterday about religion becoming philosophy and all that. I am just now coming to the points where I now feel confident enough to realize my, as Marx posited, "species-being" or whatever. The anthropologist skeleton says...create cultural object. The philosopher skeleton says...it's so good. The sociologist skeleton says...build the wall! The artist skeleton says...need more drugs. The Brad skeleton says... I love you, dear. The Ziggy skeleton says...that's me. The end of MLT is perfection. Somehow it's just so right.
Dennis, that sucks about yout mother and the rest of your family. My father's death in 1999 was bad enough itself, and the consequences were incredibly difficult for my mother, who was soon near homelessness or involuntary psychiatric commitment. It was just this big horrible event in several respects and I just muddled through as I could.
Dennis Cooper Sentence of the Day: "His eyes change, freak, steel." (Guide) Wow.
de, i don't know whether this is necessarily what happens all the time. when my great grandma died there was no prolonged arguing over inheritance and whatnot. likewise when my parents die (which hopefully want be for another thirty or so years) i doubt whether my brothers and sisters will argue the three and a half acre block to death. maybe there's just no real clashing personality in my family which is great. of course who knows what's going to happen over the course of thirty years but i very much doubt that any of us are going to attack each other. the english restraint within us no doubt
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Sorry to hear about your situation with your mother and your family.
My father died of cancer 3 years ago and I still miss him. Since I lived in London at the time, I'd been home to visit my family for Easter and he wasn't well but there was no sign of him dying in the near future, so I went back to London as I'd planned after Easter. Unfortunately, the morning I Ieft I was in a hurry and when I went to say goodbye to him in his bedroom he was sleeping heavily and I couldn't wake him, so I just left and my mother promised to say goodbye from me. Though I spoke to him on the phone a couple of times after that, that was the last time I saw him alive, sleeping in his bed, as he died a few weeks later. And the weirdest thing was I remember thinking at the time, on my way to the airport in Copenhagen that this might be the last time I'd see him alive, even though I brushed the thought aside, but then it turned out to be the case.
What you write about with your family fighting over who should inherit what is very sad. It's a strange thing; that one person dying becomes a financial issue for those left behind. Hope that you somehow can get the best out of this sad time and good to hear that you're going to spend time with your nephew and friends.
Oh, and i totally agree with what Math said about your writing in the posts above. It's always a pleasure reading your 'reports' from what you've been up to or what your view is on what's going on in the world, etc...
Goodnight from Denmark (Danish time) which must be Good Afternoon in Californian time.
hey dennis do you think that all the fighting over practical things like money and who gets the estate is a way of the rest of your family protecting themselves and feelings and giving them a practical channel and means to filter that through. do they have a blog and a commmunity of whoever knows how many in which they can distill this information and which we can learn and live and love you and your life and try and relieve some of the stress. do you think that that's why you're the more calm and pragmatic having art as a therapy in which you get to confront and understand your deepest beliefs and emotion? obviously it's still quite ugly and fucked up all the fighting but maybe it's the only way of dealing with all the emotions for them. and since they don't have a source well then all the ugly ones come to the front. i don't know your family that well and feel free to shut me down if completely wrong, or alternatively just ignore the question if you find it to personal but that's a couple thoughts that spring to mind.
I like all this serious stuff about dying and that - my mother having died last year (I've said a bit about this in my 'Hallowe'en Day email Dennis).
As I said to Dennis there were 'estate' issues that I never dreamed would occur. But the actual funeral (which I had to organise, my brother being out of it for the duration) was 'great' - all grey and misty and, my mother being a big cat lover (and stray collector)
I got a big cat wreath made up, which lay on the hearse grinning up at the priest...
Also one of the teenage grave diggers was very cute - I later discovered he was the local drug dealer.
Re: Klark. Admit it DC - it's love isn't it!
What a coincidence you ended up with a Russian BF...
(And I'll probably end up with an alcoholic Irish rogue).
(A thought - what if 'my' Russian turns up in one of these porn days...)
Not a great fan of skinny teeny porn but the Santa pic is refreshingly hilarious - why is porn always so serious and stern?
Of course Santa Jake Gyllenhaal still rules!
The unsayable is my sacred! my massacre, dark liquid crying of my pores, I feel confused, I, I am Not sacred but I would like to !
-Scream Swam-
5stringsaphasia, I love that “what the skeleton says…” thing you’ve got going there. In the right hands (yours maybe?), there could be an incredible poem made from just that. It’s a great idea: the philosopher skeleton says… the magician skeleton says… the artist skeleton says… the musician skeleton says… the teacher skeleton says… and on and on. You should totally go for it or maybe I’ll just be so compelled to try myself. I’m listening to The New Pornographers right now so that’s the soundtrack of this post (“Streets of Fire” right now). The mathematician skeleton says… There are just too many skeletons whose voices need to be heard, 5stringsaphasia. I’m sure everyone would love to listen.
C., I love what you said about knowing that others are going to die helps with your own inevitable death. Death is the great equalizer, and yes, it’s strangely empowering. Though, I guess the way people get around dealing directly with death is the afterlife. This is going to sound weird maybe but the belief in the afterlife has always struck me as somewhat arrogant. I mean, just the whole idea that people actually believe they’re worth keeping in existence for eternity. I mean, people are and it’s an incredibly moving and beautiful idea, too, but then… There’s been a lot of talk of religion here lately and I don’t know how I feel really about God and everything like that, though that’s something else. But the insanely religious zealots from any religion believe in the afterlife, too, and use it as an excuse to hurt and push their hatred for whatever on people. And it’s funny because I always end up thinking when listening to people like that, “You’re such a hate-fueled and hate-filled hatemonger, and you actually believe God is going to want someone like you spending eternity in heaven with Him? God is dumber than I thought then…” (“The Laws Have Changed” is on right now). But C., what you said is really something I take to heart: everyone’s going to die and end up whatever people end up when they die and it doesn’t matter how much money or how great your job is or how big your dick is.
It’s comforting. That said, it doesn’t make anything easier when you’re faced with death. Dennis, I don’t know much about your relationship with your mother but I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. One of my closest friend’s mother died not too long ago and her father died just earlier this month, too, and it’s crushing me because I don’t even know how to begin to talk to her about it. And she’s probably thinking I don’t care so much. I’m young and lucky enough that I haven’t had any close die yet. No friends or immediate family that has had any direct influence on my life. The closest to death I’ve been in reality is to my grandparents who have all passed away and to pets. And knowing my reactions to the death of cats even and my grandparents who were distant at most, I don’t know how I’ll deal with a friend’s death or someone I love. I’ll be a total disaster. I remember something Amy Gerstler said in an interview about writing about death. She said before she wrote her book Medicine she had only known death through her imagination and after her brother passed away and her husband’s mother and a friend, she learned that imagining death and experiencing it firsthand were galaxies apart. I’ve tried my whole thinking and writing life to try to imagine death (sometimes enviously of people who have actually had the experience in their life, though that’s not something I like to admit. But it’s true, even to the point of wishing someone I love would die just so I would finally get some answers and stop already, which is horrible I know but yeah.) (“These Are the Fables” is playing). But that’s how it goes, I guess. On and on and on.
Joe Mills, that’s really funny about the cute grave digger and shook me from the funk of writing those last couple paragraphs. "Harold and Maude" is my favorite movie probably and I’ve always cherished the idea of falling in love at a funeral. It’s absolute perfection. Saa Viccenzo, that’s really beautiful what you said about unsayable being your sacred, your massacre, and dark liquid crying out of your pores. Yeah, I’m confused, too, but I nodded in complete agreement with that. Speaking of beautiful things, today in class one of my seventh graders (while presenting on her passion for the piano (they’ve been working on projects about what they’re passionate about and are now beginning to present them to the class)) answered a question of the student teacher’s present asked, “What do you think about math?” I didn’t understand the question so it must have been an in-joke between them. But this girl said she thought of music as patterns and as a “puzzle of light” and I was totally thrown into the cosmos for a minute thinking about it.
(“Stacked Crooked” has just ended and now “The Bones of an Idol” has started). Math Tinder, I completely agree with you about Dennis’s nonfiction writing. It’s impeccably clean, clear, concise, and every other c-word you can think of. I really admire it because it’s not cold but really warm and inviting. Dennis, you could write about anything and find its inner magic. But your particular affection to everything porn is very heartening. Speaking of affection, my best friend is driving down from Maine tomorrow after work to visit me and is going to spend the night and Saturday we’re going to search out a spooky house to go to somewhere here in the great state of Massachusetts. So expect a report Monday or something. I want to see more pictures of the places you’ve visited, or at least descriptions or whatever. Because I’m a Halloween enthusiast to the extreme even though I don’t as outwardly show it as some of you guys here. I guess I’m more existential with my love for Halloween. It’s the greatest holiday on earth. It’s so trashy but it’s not only trashy... Christmas can be incredibly trashy and moving, too. (“Use It” is on—this song always makes my bones vibrate in ecstasy and excitement). We might also catch a movie because I really want to see "Little Miss Sunshine" (it’s been recommended to me by a lot of people I trust more than my own brain) and some others.
Garrison, it’s funny you loved "The Queen" because when I saw the trailer on TV for it, I immediately though, “Oh shit, another horseshit Hollywood historical epic.” But apparently it’s not a hack job and really good? I’ll have to keep an eye out. I’m not excited at all for "Marie Antoinette" actually even though I liked "Lost in Translation" a lot. I don’t know what it is but it just seems like it’s going to be absolutely pretentious... I am excited to see "Saw III" even though you know exactly what to expect when going in. But I loved the end of "Saw II" with the labyrinthine house and the whole trick ending and shit. The rest of the movie was pretty awful in a deliciously awful and satisfying way. So... I don’t really care enough to see "The Departed". It would be fun but I can definitely wait. What else is playing? I don’t know. "Babel" is coming out here soon and I’m excited for that. Wow okay. I’ve covered everything I can think of right now: Death, The New Pornographers, movies, Halloween and Christmas. Yeah. I’m listening to “Streets of Fire” again and going to watch some of the Mets and Cardinals game seven before I head to bed to listen a second time to the KTL album (which I absolutely am fascinated by, Dennis. What a strange and beautiful record. It’s nothing like I expected really. I don’t know what I expected but I love its harsh atmospheres and sounds like the perfect accompaniment to ghosts and teenagers running amok in dark, snowy forests...)
klarkk is great dennis! fantastic! so disposable little klakrlry poo! i wonder where he is? in the vast clouds with julian and the others? where do they all go dennis? TELL ME!? dennis wont you be SO relieved to die and finally see the diagram of life and where everyone went? insane huh?
hmm dennis i feel bad about your mom, my dad was in almost the sameish position when he died, he had broken his hip as well. so his last days were basically just like morphine stupors in a bed. no goodbyes or anything. it was better like that. its sort of scary how people adapt to an almost dead person in the house. emotions are tight. so are lips.
whatevs.
my drawing teachers brother just had a massive coronary or something and apparently he's majorly brain dead or something. she just won a legal battle over the other half of her family to give him heart surgery next week. apparently he's like this MASSIVE body builder dude who worked for bush and stuff and he was really smart with like two law degrees or something.. and now he's lying in some hospital bed somewhere in washington unable to stop kicking everywhere and screaming stuff like "ANGEL HAIRRR!"
my teacher is SO AWESOME about it too. she seems ridiculously happy all the time. but seriously i know she probably parks her car on the side of the freeway and stares and clouds and cries and shit. like movies.
mm sad... anyways. i feel bad for her. like i feel bad for you dennis.
i often think about the value of human life. which is weird because i usually come to the conclusion that its worth very little.
like what is there? choice? CHOICE!?
like when im drunk.. and i even control my piss.. how is it that i can control what im talking about? NOT REALLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.. but subjects and stuff? like.. why is it that when i'm drunk i TALK ABOUT stuff i LIKE.. like YOU DENNIS.. or theory or art and stuff.. what is that choice? where does that come from?
i can totally see how my entire conscious being is made up purely of conditioned behaviors and things... operant shit and stuff.
but CHOICE. maybe people are..
GODDAMN I HAVE TO CATCH MYSELF HERE BEFORE I GO INSANE!!!
GODDAMN YOU DENNIS!! you and your waaays!!
anyways.. im refraining from idle talk because.. yeah....
im still downloading that cum comp.
denniss,, im sending spooky pix immediately.
PS
MARIE ANTOINETTE:
yeah... MMMKAY... i MAY HAVE BEEN SEEN HERE totally downplaying the M.A. HYPE!
and i STILL downplay it..
but i CANT FUCKING DENY THAT I
AM BAAAAASICALLY jerking off over THE TRAILERS
which are on MTV 24/7
yeah that CURE SONG!! ohmygod..
and also the wallpaper at versailles... SHIZNIT..
and the costumes.... i THOUGHT they looked cheap before...
but the recent footage ive been seeing has made me basically burst my cock ALL OVER THE SILK CHIFFON!
SHIZNIT!
umm.. so yeahaah..
tomorrow me and emily go to the THEATRE.. my report soon. or whenever..
PPS man the walkmen are TEErific, whatever happened to those dudes? sad.
DC,
The infighting is really shitty and I'm sorry you have to face that. Take care of yourself and your mom.
And thanks for the Klark day. He's always been great though I think Mike18 is cuter. I've been in a big Josh Elliott phase lately myself. It's funny, the first photo I saw of Yury on this blog I assumed was another in the long line of great Russian/Eastern European pornstars. Until I read further, of course. Why are the Russians and Eastern Europeans so good-looking?
Take care.
"Why are the Russians and Eastern Europeans so good-looking?"
Because they're still animals; they haven't been marketed to and divided and told to shave their pubic hair and cover up what's great about them naturally. They haven't been sold fear since they were kids because the market economy is still new in their countries.
Vomitingghosts:
Oh, yes, yes. THE QUEEN is no run-of-the-mill, historical biopic. It's something really special. It highlights the strangest things, relentlessly. It's funny, and sad, and quietly thrilling. I loved it.
DENNIS:
Enjoy your Halloween Spook House! Yes, indeedy.
interesting stuff, dennis, you sure know your stuff!
"spermcult" "guyfoot"...great names!
wow, trapeze artist, elf, drag...the boy did it all!
hmmm, maybe THAT'S the book you should write, a history of russian boyporn sites???
i liked the daddy/klark pics a lot, but then, i AM a (self-identified) daddy...
random thought: i came up with a new name for sean "puffy" combs...
DIDDY DADDY!
it's the only one he hasn't used yet, haha!
i am burning a candle ("clean linen" scented...mmmm...) for your mom tonight, cuz....that's what i do.
hope the family BS calms down. they need to save that shit for laterzzz.
big hug, DC...
MK
Death is not only a love one's body leaving, but also among the living having to deal with that death. I always found it to be a very lonely existence. A group situation it becomes an argument.
It's funny how money and who's more important comes to the picture during this time. When my father died my 'old' world died with him.
Ah, shit. Sorry to hear about your mother, Dennis. Cancer really is a lousy way to go... I wish they could find a better way of treating it, or some type of cure that actually works well. I had an aunt die from breast cancer years ago, and IIRC she was fairly young, only in her early forties... What made that especially tragic was that she left behind a husband and two fairly young children. I still remember the last time I saw her, in some hospice a few days before she dies, she was unrecognizable and totally out of it. Just thinking about it today gives me the shivers.... Hope things even out for you in the future.
Damn, I can't help but notice how physically unattractive some of these older guys are in these porn pictures. Maybe when I'm a geezer that should be the job I take up or something. I can think of worse things one could do.
man I feel like my whole generation is about to start deal with their parent's deaths, such a lag now with people living longer and longer, the emotional aspect will never change though. again, you have my sympathies.
re: the gay porn on yr blog:
as a semi-straight cat and consumer of so much straight porn it's so nice to suddenly not feel so bad about having a small dick.
Dennis, you actually make teenish porn stars seem like interesting characters. Makes me almost want to see some of this kid's work.
Almost.
I find out tomorrow (later today, eek) when we're going to lose the apartment. Oh joy!
Michael Karo,
that's a good idea. A russian porn art book!
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great birthday mystery in gay porn on my bolg blog
orry to read about all the crap you are having to deal with right now. It's so sad that people are behaving in such away when your Mother is so ill. I feel for you on this one big time.
As I have loads of free time right now I’m spending a lot of time in bed reading. So I now have the time to get back to reading “God Jr” and “The Sluts” and I also took a look at “All Ears” the other day to re read the Nan Goldin article. A few years back when I was teaching a photo class I got all the students to read “The Ballad of Nan Goldin” and there loved it. And there came up with some powerful and moving images of what it was to be a teenager in London.
I hope some happier times are coming your way soon.
Marc
I'm with paradigm on the squabbling siblings, Dennis - in my experience, reaosnbale people only fight like this when they don't have the tools to deal with stuff. And, when yo get right down to it, who of us DOES deal with this stuff?
I mean, what IS dealing with imminent death? It's such a meanginless, abstract concept. Perosnally, if the person is in pain I find it much easier, cos then you can just want 'em to be free of pain in an admirable, selfless way. Anything else just coems down to 'what does this death mean for ME?'
In my expeirmnece here, we all use humour. I;ve been in two funeral cars where there was genuine laughter on the way to the crematorium and yeah, maybe it was just another avoidance-tactic, but boy it felt good:)
Joe, I love your mum;s big grinning cat wreath!
Would funny personal death stories be inappropriate here? Is ANY response to death inappropriate, really?
When my dad was dying, he stayed in bed most days, so when I swent to visit I;d say hi to my mum then nip upstairs to see him. Near the expected end, he wasnlt sitting up and moaning as usual..in fact, he was very still and didn't seem to be breathing. So I tried to take his pulse, wannabe paramedic that I am, and pressed what trurned out to be two very cold fingers to the side his very warm neck....
Okay, he wasn't dead, but the shriek he gave nearly killed my mum, downstairs:)
Enjoy the scary farm, Dennis - in the midst of life, etc etc...
Sending you much love and supportive vibes, Dennis. My father died very slowly of emphysema and was trying to divorce my mother on his deathbed, so I know how ugly and distressing these things can get. If you want to cheer yourself up go see The Prestige, which I caught in Rome, and which is terrific; Christian is as ever wonderful, and I loved his cockney bruiser accent. Rome was great; I can now say I turned down dinner with Martin Scorsese - they rang me up an hour before because someone dropped out, clearly, but I didn't want to renege on a dinner with friends arranged two weeks before. I did interview Tian Zhuangzhuang; he made Blue Kite and was there with a new film The Go Master. Also met Gela Babluani, who made Tzameti 13 in France (highly recommended) which he is mysteriously now remaking in the US
Dynomoose, shit. When are you and your family going to catch a break? --Soon, I hope. Very soon.
Today's Rimbaud's birthday. I'm not one to make a big deal out of famous people's birthdays, let alone my own, but Rimbaud's my one exception. Predictably/accordingly, am going to at the absinthe bar tonight in Solothurn. Because what the hell, why not? They're all a quaint and friendly bunch down there.
Happy Birthday, Rimbaud. Hang in there, Dennis....
Land of the bat,
Do you really think that's so? Certainly, there's an innocence you don't often see in Americans, but I think it's more genetics. I say this because the Americans I find attractive usually turn out to have Eastern European/Slavic/Russian ancestry.
When my dad was dying, a lot of the fights were about regular things – like who left eggs in the pan or who stuffed up the computer downloading porn – that escalated absurdly. As the middle boy I was usually defending one of my brothers against the other and often accused of detachment. My mum and dad tried to plan everything. Not that there's much inheritance. And my mum's determined to spend as much as she can before she dies. She learned from her great grandmother who owned five pubs in Wales. She had one leg and wore a purse sack around her waist. When she died her sons inherited a pub each and drank them all away.
Frank O'Hara died in 1966 and there are people who to this day are fighting to be the Head Widow in Charge.
Dorothy parker famously said of her taste in men "I'm always chasing Rimbauds."
It's very nice to read the comments in today's (or technically yesterday's ) blog.
The 'death' experience was so intense for me. Not only losing my father, but also the fact of how people around my father radically changed to me. A lot of it I think is due to human nature. A lot of people are born with boorish and bad manners traits within their DNA.
Reading David's comments I found very intersting, I didn't have a big breakup moment with friends of my Father's - but for sure what followed was 'silence,' unless they wanted something.
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gosh, i'm so sorry to hear how so many people on these pages have lost loved ones ... i've never lost anyone really close to me so i can't really imagine what it must be like. i don't really know what to say. but i'm just so sorry to hear that and i really hope that you're all doing ok?
oh dennis that sucks. you need a hug machine or something. actually what you need is this teleporter i've been working on with a friend of mine who lives in honduras. when we get the prototype up and running you and yury will be the first to have one.
so speaking of running into you on the street i'm going to a reading tonight at the university by michael friedman and my friend is doing the intro and there on the back of his new book is dennis cooper. i guess it will have to do. also you were in my dreams again and you were really happy. i hope this is a sign of thins to come.
mizu, i wish i had this teleporter thingie working so i could go celebrate with you. that sounds like super fun.
maybe we should build our own acutal community. like disney did.
right now i'm drinking coffee at the kitchen table as i write and i can hear my neighbor singing country songs in the shower.
david e, did you see that that grey's anatomy guy came out? it made me think of you. wasn't a stirring statement or anything but given today's hollywood climate it's still nice to see.
katsim, sorry for the delay. if you want to talk about any of those books you should email me. the class doesn't start until january but i'll be reading them in december.
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On today's IMBD:
Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight has confirmed he is gay. The actor, who plays unassuming Dr. George O'Malley on the hit series, decided to go public after rumors began surfacing about his sexuality. Knight confirms to American publication People, "I guess there have been a few questions about my sexuality, and I'd like to quiet any unnecessary rumours that may be out there. While I prefer to keep my personal life private, I hope the fact that I'm gay isn't the most interesting part of me." Media reports have suggested that Knight was forced out of the closet after details of a fight between co-stars Isaiah Washington and Patrick Dempsey became public. According to the National Enquirer, the two got into a fight while Filming the show last week and Washington allegedly yelled to Dempsey, "I'm not your little faggot like (name deleted)." The publication said they withheld printing the actual name of the co-star Washington mentioned "because of the extreme nature of the slur."
Good for Knight. That Washington creep is not long for that show -- or his career.
Dennis
I should start
with death
envy
or sex?
it is dificult not to
fall in love with you
with that sensitiveness that puts together
the kid sexy and the death..
I am the kid
I am the old guy
I want the diference
the penetration of diference
love to otherness
sexy old guy
silver hair
over smooth skin
I feel like in my
place now there is death all around
is all sticky with death and loos
my home town filled with gosth
Hope you feel soothened by all the coments today in this great post
I do feel in a nice company
we seem to have a sense a taste
of what is like and to feel not so isolated in this desintegration..
I know about envy
siblings
competitions
mistrust
and all that¡
and is just too much...
It is nice that not allways is like this for every body..
but it is often..
feel like all my world is desapearing..
and as is been said in here
it all will go when my parents do go eventually..
they are old ill..and suffering..
and is just the beggining but do we know how is going to be like?
it is hard..
specially now that this world seems to not make any sense any more
all so dead pan
it feels like
i need to go far
far away from where I am
i am getting intoxicated
is axfixiating
C:you are nice nice nice nice
nice tshirt
we eventually meet when we die
for sure.
Hi Dennis sorry to hear about your family situation. I hate when money and inheritance gets mixed up with death. Recently my grandfather died and I inherited a bit of money but in a way I hate thinking about it, that someone had to die for me to have it, whereas my brother was mentally spending his before the check even arrived. I guess a lot of families get divided over this kind of stuff. I really dread my own parents death (apart from the obvious reason) since me and my brother are very distant to the point where I refer to myself as an only child. It was something I was supposed to grow out of, but I didn’t I’m stubborn to a ridiculous degree.
Being calm and pragmatic sounds like a good idea I react very badly around death, I either close myself off and pretend it’s not happening there are still some recent deaths in my family that make me leave the room when they’re brought up. On the flipside I had a very selfish breakdown when a close friend committed suicide. I was a wreck for a whole year. What was worse is that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, I just didn’t know what to say, I didn’t understand why I was having such an intense reaction to him dying.
Hmmm I hope all this talk of death on the blog doesn’t get you down. Take care.
alice in chains, please don't say you were selfish to have a breakdown when your friend died ... god, i'm so sorry to hear that.
dennis - that's sad news.
i can't understand why people do this sort of thing but i would hope your mum has written a will so there really shouldn't be any arguments.. what she says goes.
my dad died without a will and as it was just me and my brother i told him to have it.. though i requested his old battered gold watch that my mum had given him on their first anniversary (still haven't got it fixed as i feel weird about someone else touching it)
goodluck with the mediation and hope you get out of that mess so you can focus on what counts.. your mum
Dennis I just got a DVD-R in the mail of La Cicatrice Interieure with Nico!
Don't know what your schedule is like but if you want to come over and see it let me know!
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sorry, Dennis. take care.
Things last, but sometimes for days here
only children seem fit to handle children,
and there is no utility or inspiration
in the wind smashing without direction.
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