p.s. I just want to say this quickly and move on. I'm about as emotionally low as I can ever remember being. Everything that could wrong in my life right now is going wrong. Even things I couldn't imagine would go wrong are going wrong. It's kind of unbelievable. I don't want to talk about it right now. Seriously, I don't. It's not a good idea. Please don't ask me to. Maybe at some point I'll need to, and I will. I only say this because I don't feel like I've been very present and attentive here lately. Maybe it's not noticeable, which would be great. But I feel it, and I'm sorry for that. I'm waiting for something good to happen. I'm trying to make something good happen. Nothing is working, but all bad things like all good things must come to an end, I imagine. The best thing you can do for me is to carry on here in your glorious, brilliant ways, and I'll keep up as best I can until some light breaks through. And if someone out there has put a curse on me, seriously, take the fucking curse off. Enough is enough. Now, honestly, please ignore this moan of mine and continue your talks about Billy Mackenzie and everything in your heads and lives because engaging with your energies and big brains and big hearts in crazy combination is one of the few good things going on in my existence right now, and I'd love for that not to get fucked up or diverted by my decision to vaguely characterise my state of mind right now. I know you guys care. You don't have to tell me. Please don't, actually. I can't explain why. I'm going to work through this crap in the ways I know how to, and hopefully tomorrow or next week or whenever I'll be the host I used to be and want to be again. Like I said, I just feel my lack of energy and concentration here, and, on the off chance some you do too, there's the explanation. Now, on to the good part. ** Adjoun, lost child, You guys are singlehandedly making me very glad I decided to do this murder mystery thing. Wonderful, wonderful. Thank you. ** Cycylolo, Oh, yeah, I'm just kind of out of it right now. But a meeting would be awesome. I just wrote you to set something up. Here's hoping I see you soon. ** Antonio, Like Richter's Atlas. That's so fucking funny. I wonder if a bunch of dodgy, rip-off Russian porn sites would think it was worth the time and hassle to undertake an international lawsuit against me if I stole their pix and put them in a book. I bet not, but I bet the American lawyers for whatever publisher wanted to let me do such a thing would be too fastidious and paranoid to allow it. But, yeah, that would be hot. The chubby dude is chubby. I'm just sparing you guys the fat rolls and concentrating on his ineffable Brooke Shields-like quality. Charley Ray: Well, you know he's one of my great friends, and about as a big a genius as there is. He still looks pretty good. He's still as spazzy and incorrigible as a eight year old kid. Anyway, a Charles Ray Day is in the works as a matter of fact, including some newish candid snaps I took of him. He's way heterosexual, sorry, though way gay friendly. ** Math tinder, No hyperbole at all. I was/am smitten. Okay, you've pretty much driven me to check out the New Dolls. It's just hard to imagine them without the lurching, wobbling Johnny Thunders in tow. But yeah. I have no problem at all with your blog, but then I'm an Apple dude using Safari/Firefox. ** David ehrenstein, I'll definitely look for the 'Masters of Cinema' DVD with you guys talking on it. O'Toole was really good in 'Bright Young Things.' I just caught that recently. When's your Weekly piece running? ** Atheist, Bittersweet Memories #2 boy: Whoa, yes, mm-hm, absolutely. ** Jose, On Robbe-Grillet, hm, there are so many possible places to start. You couldn't go wrong by starting with the most famous early stuff, say 'The Voyeur,' or 'Jealousy' and 'In the Labyrinth,' the latter two novels being available under one cover. My faves are the slightly later novels: 'Project for a Revolution in New York,' 'Topography of a Phantom City,' 'Recollection of the Golden Triangle,' especially. Starting with any of the aforementioned novels would work fine. I hope you enjoy it/him. ** Frankie p, Hey there. Gosh, I don't know how you'd see the 'Horror Hospital' film. DW will have to pop in here and tell you. You doing well? ** Michael karo, I don't know if I can go so far as to listen to the new Dolls album. That's too daunting and spooky. But if I see them live, and they do some new tunes, and they don't disturb me, then maybe. Thanks for the review. ** 5stringaphasia, I remember Amp. You remember the early, pretty good period of 120 Minutes? Re. Blanchot: I'm working on a Blanchot Day for the blog, and, if it works out, there'll be a bunch of links to online Blanchot texts. Fingers crossed. ** Dynomoose, Thanks for the statictick pass along. Well, that's better news about Weavie than it could have been, obviously. Still, I hope he'll look after himself. ** Killer luka, Feel free at any second to ask me to write you a recommendation letter for a residency or grant, okay? Are there doll making residencies? I wonder if just a regular artists' residency would do the trick. You know Gisele Vienne is a doll maker. Should I ask her advice? Maybe there's a doll related residency in France? I haven't seen the 'Dumbland' stuff. Maybe that's for the best? You were a ballet dancer? That's cool. I have a strange, possibly inexplicable fascination with people who dance ballet. Any pix to share? Yury is testing the waters of the pool and the usefulness of his knees again today. We'll see. And yeah, good new pic of you. ** T.pkendall, Hey. Cool. I think your idea is great. I think maybe you just need to describe what you're thinking of in a little more detail, and the interested participants will flood you. So please do, 'cos I think it sounds like an inspired project. And everybody else, come on, jump in. ** Lux, Hey man. My address is: c/o International Centre des Recollets, 150/154 rue du Faubourg St. Martin, 75010 Paris, France. One favorite music video? No, I can't think of just one. Off the top of my head, the beloved videos that spring to mind are the Bjork one you mentioned, of course. I like that Spike Jonze one of the guy on fire running for the bus in slow motion. I forget the band/song. That Sonic Youth stage diving one you mentioned is sweet, as is Harmony Korine's 'Sunday' clip, which someone else here mentioned. That Replacements one that mostly just shows a stereo speaker was cool. I actually quite like some of the Shoegazer vids, dated as they look. There was an early Spiritualized video that was really eye-attacking psychedelic, but I don't remember which song it was for. Hm. I guess that's all I can think of right now. Yeah, I saw the line-up for Thurston's ATP, and it does look great. Maybe I can swing over there. Early happy birthday to Aisha. It's been a year already, wow. ** Rigby101, I loved your posts yesterday. You're another drinking-seems-to-agree-with-your-brain kind of guy. And, yeah, the moon is definitely in some seriously awful alignment. ** C., Thank you for the props. Trying to write coherent dialogue in the weentsy space allotted by the size of those images is tough and leads to some peculiar things. It's an interesting challenge. I'm glad it comes off okay. ** Xkoesj, Oh, I'm such a slowpoke. It's just terrible. You're being so lovely and patient. I miss you, though. Word. Oh, and dare. ** Paradigm, I'm hardly one to talk, but the porn/prostitution addiction is a running backwards and downwards kind of thing unless it fuels the work, which is my excuse. ** D., I've seen some of the 'Rabbits,' and, like you, their supposed inclusion in 'Inland Empire' bodes well in my head. Exactly, I think Lynch has done what he wants to do, period, which is thrilling to contemplate. We should all be so lucky. ** Vomitingghosts, Nope, I know what was the quote and what was you. I meant you. And anyway, superb quote choice is part of it. As far as your question about the possible emptiness of ideas/knowledge gained through drugs, absolutely not for me. Drugs are just collaborators with you. I think my body gets plenty of credit for what I learned from drugs, albeit not total credit. I also think, as I've said before, that my body can do it without drugs now, maybe partly because the drugs taught my body how to reveal things that were hidden before, true. Actually, I seem to be failing myself completely at the moment, but I don't think drugs would give me the answers. They've already given the answers. The answers are: create them yourself. ** Tigersare, It's totally weird to have what you lived through revived, yeah. The trick is to question the nostalgia that's part of the revival, or I think so. I think nostalgia, as pleasureable and natural as it is, is an enemy. Re. Mischa: Mm, you'll see. ** Disco 3-way, Hi. Welcome back. Oh, yeah, your email is in my box waited to be read. I'm just trying to figure if I can actually come to Stockholm, though I'm almost sure I'm coming. It's just schedule stuff. But I definitely want to meet up and hang out. For sure. I'll write to you as soon as I have my plans in gear. Very cool about your play. I don't suppose I'll get to see it, but I wish I could. Maybe you can video it. ** Jheorgge, Hey. Uh, I think it's safe to say I'll keep working in this porn pix-meet-fight-narrative form. I haven't gotten bored of it. I have a short 'story' idea or two that I'll probably do next. I'm really glad you're liking it. ** See, magically, I feel a lot better after sharing you guys. Keep it up, and I'll try to keep my momentarily raised spirits at the current pleasant level. Check out the great Billy Mackenzie if you haven't before or even if you have. You guys are the best. Bye.